Thus Beaten Out of Season
by Ariadne Quinn
Summary: There's something rotten in the land of wonder...can Hatter fix things before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Thus Beaten Out of Season – Part 1

"Why is a Raven like writing desk?"

Hatter had begun the question in his dream, but completed it as he bolted upright in bed. He swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, glancing over at the sleeping form beside him.

Alice stirred, but did not wake. His nightmares had grown increasingly frequent – and disturbing – in the past month or so, to the point that her sleep was no longer disturbed by his crying out in the middle of the night. It bothered her, that her brain willingly blocked out the noise, preventing her from providing comfort to a man she cared about so deeply. And, though he denied it, it bothered him too.

Convinced that she was still asleep, and too considerate to wake her, Hatter eased himself out of bed. He padded along the carpet towards the hall, but hesitated in the doorway. Turning around, he tried to ***will*** her awake, but it was no use. Her breaths remained slow and even, the sheets rising and falling ever so slightly with each one. The narrow shafts of light that crept in from the street cast unfamiliar shadows across the room, making his typically whimsical headboard a frightening creature looming over his Alice, ready to pounce.

Pushing that image out of his head, he closed the door softly behind him and headed for the kitchen. He was surprised to discover that he was not, in fact, in the mood for tea. He wanted something…different.

He was in the process of making hot chocolate when a switch clicked behind him and glaring white light replaced the soft dimness of the room. "Couldn't sleep?"

Her arrival was unexpected – he was sure she had been down pretty deep a few minutes ago – but though she was now able to sleep through his nocturnal outbursts, he knew she was not immune to most sounds. Actually, she was quite the light sleeper otherwise. Which is why he had closed the door to the bedroom, so he wouldn't inadvertently wake her.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't…" his voice trailed off when he turned around and was welcomed by a startling sight.

Sitting at the table, in a short, red, lacy negligee and heeled fuzzy red slippers, was Duchess. She wore a matching red satin robe over her "nightgown," untied and slipping off her shoulders, her makeup without a smear, her blonde hair perfectly arranged. She spoke with Alice's voice. "No…you didn't wake me. I don't think anything did…I just…woke up."

Hatter stood in the middle of the kitchen, wearing only the boxers Alice had given him – black with the phrase "Tea or me?" written in glow-in-the-dark paint scattered all over them – and an expression of pure confusion. "What the hell…?"

"What's the matter, honey?"

Hatter shot up in bed, drenched in sweat. Beside him, Alice rolled over and put her hand on his arm. "What?" she mumbled sleepily. "What is it…?"

He froze at the sound of her voice, unable to answer. He reached for the lamp on his bedside table, fearing the worst. Light flooded the room with a vengeance, revealing what he had already guessed – Duchess was lying in bed next to him. And this time, she had her own voice.

Prying her well-manicured claw off his arm, he tried to stand. "I don't know what the hell you're doing here…"

But he had somehow misjudged Duchess' strength – she grabbed his arm once again and held him down. "I'm here because you brought me back with you," she cooed, her gentle tone in direct contrast to the vise-like grip she had on his arm. "Because you love me…"

"No! I love…"

"You love _me_," she interrupted, maneuvering herself so she was straddling his chest. "You always have." She leaned forward to kiss him, but he turned his face away. Undaunted by his attempted rejection, she kissed his cheek, then grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. "And I'm about to show you why…"

It took all his might, but Hatter managed to throw her off him; in the process, he too fell out of bed. The instant he hit the floor, she disappeared the room went dark. A shadowy figure sat up on the other side of the bed and turned to him. "Wait…wha…?"

Hatter remained on the ground and slowly but surely began backing up.

A few seconds later, he found himself squinting up at the woman in his bed, now surrounded by light. It was Alice, wearing her typical nighttime fare – a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Or, at least, it looked like Alice.

"Hatter…?" She moved to get up, but he wasn't about to have that.

"No! Stay where you are!"

"What's going on?"

He was against the wall now, as far away from her as he could get. The beads of sweat that covered his skin were beginning to cool in the night air, making him feel clammy and uncomfortable. "Just. Stay. Away."

"Hatter, I…" she tried again, putting both feet on the floor.

"Don't," he warned, holding out his hand. "I don't want to hurt you. But I will if I have to."

Her beautiful face was lined with concern. "I don't understand…"

"I don't know that you're Alice," he clarified.

Realization struck her then. "Another nightmare?"

"Several, in fact."

She nodded with comprehension. Although he previously mentioned that his dreams had grown darker recently, he refused to discuss them with her. It looked like they were much worse than she imagined. "All right…let me prove it to you."

Hatter eyed at her suspiciously. "How?"

"That's up to you."

He mulled over her proposition for a minute, then decided to take her up on it. "Do you know why they call me 'Hatter'?"

"Because you wear a hat?" she asked, grinning. When it was clear he didn't share her amusement, she once again became serious. "Because you're always there when they pass the hat."

"What did I give Ratty in exchange for you?"

"Pink nectar…? I honestly don't remember what emotion it was…"

"How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail?"

His questions were getting more difficult…she was afraid she might not recall the answers. "Something about golden scales….and water from the Nile…"

"Charlie was mad as a box of…?"

"Frogs," she answered quickly. That one she was sure of.

"And what did Charlie refer to me as?"

"Um…a vassal? But you thought he said, 'vessel.' "

Hatter had gradually become more and more relaxed with each correct response, but he still had one last question for her. "What did I suggest we do right before you went back through the Looking Glass?"

She smiled at the memory. "Pizza. 'We could do pizza,' you said. It was really cute…adorable actually."

He let out a loud sigh and sagged against the wall. "It was?"

She approached him slowly, careful not to startle her suddenly fragile boyfriend. "Oh yeah," she replied, kneeling next to him and putting her hand on his knee. "You were so completely clueless…you had no idea what you were saying, did you?"

He looked up at her, emotionally drained. "Alice?"

"Yes…it's really me."

He reached up to stroke her cheek, just to make sure she was real. "It's so good to see you." He began to shiver violently then, as the combination of exhaustion, reality, and temperature finally caught up with him.

Alice took him in her arms for a moment, her face pressed down on the top of his head. She had never seen him like this before…it was like he was falling apart before her eyes. And she didn't know what to do. "Let's get you a blanket or something," she suggested, jumping up and retrieving a fleece throw from the closet and wrapping it around his shoulders. "I'll make us some tea, and you can tell me about your dream…dreams."

He shook his head, "I don't want to…"

"I'm not asking you…I'm telling you."

Hatter didn't have the energy to argue with her, and she knew it. He let her help him up, and followed her into the kitchen. Once the teakettle was full of water and on the stove, she sat across from him and took his hand. "Well…?"

He shrugged. "I had a bunch of dreams in a row…a dream within a dream within a dream. They weren't so bad, it was just…disorienting."

"Like Russian nesting dolls? I didn't think that was even possible…"

"Oh, I don't know, a Wonderland brain in an Oyster's world is prone to have some issues adjusting…"

"Jack didn't seem to have any problems sleeping," she countered.

Hatter silently cursed her ex. "What do you want from me, Alice?"

"What were the dreams about?"

He sighed. There was no getting around it. "In the first one I was being tortured." When it was clear he didn't intend on elaborating, she started to ask him something, but he held his hand up. "That's all you need to know."

She granted him that one out. "And the next?"

"I thought I had woken up…I came into the kitchen so I wouldn't disturb you…but you followed me. Except…you weren't you."

"What does that even mean?"

"It was someone else, but she had your voice," he explained.

"Anyone I know?"

On one hand, Hatter didn't want to lie to her…on the other, he didn't want to hurt her. If it had been anyone else, he would have no problem telling her…but the simple fact that _this_ woman, in particular, was involved…that she had actually taken Alice's place in his dream…he was sure it would upset her. "In the third, it was the same girl, but this time she had her own voice."

"Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter who it was, the point is that it wasn't you…and that's why I was in such a state when I finally woke up for real."

Alice's eyes changed – he saw a flash of jealousy in them, just for an instant. "Who?"

He looked away. "Duchess."

She got up and went to the cabinet, feigning preparation for tea. "See, that wasn't so difficult, was it?"

He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. At first, she stiffened a little at his touch, but she relaxed into him soon after. "I'm sorry."

She held his arms against her. "For what? Having a nightmare? You have nothing to be sorry for. It's just…of all the women…"

"I know. Would it help if I told you that I was completely creeped out by her?"

Alice spun around to face him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Yes. Yes it would."

He held her for a moment, happy to finally have her in his arms again, then broke the embrace. "I'm going to grab a sweatshirt or something," he said as he headed for the bedroom. "I'll be right back."

"Ok…"

Hatter was halfway down the hallway when he stopped in his tracks. Wait. He heard something. He listened for a full minute, but the only sounds were those of Alice getting ready for some late night tea. He shook his head at his own silliness, but as soon as he took another step, he heard it a second time. Scratching. He froze, really concentrating on what he thought he heard. There it was once more. _Scratch. Scratch. Scratch._ Allowing the fleece that was still wrapped around his shoulders to fall to the floor, he tiptoed towards the noise until he found himself at the door to his apartment. _Scratch. Scratch. Scratch._ He looked out the peephole. Nothing. _Scratch. Scratch. Scratch._ Slowly, he undid the chain and deadbolt, then unlocked the doorknob itself and turned it, pulling the door open a sliver. There was a cat sitting in the hall. It was a beautiful animal, most likely a Norwegian forest cat (how he knew that, he didn't have a clue), a calico with a combination of gold, black, and white fur. The large jingle bell that dangled in front of its white bib remained silent as the cat gazed up at him and tilted its head slightly to the right. He looked down at the creature curiously, opening the door a little wider in the process. Something wasn't right…this cat seemed…familiar somehow. As he stuck his head out into the hall, he glanced at the door – not a scratch. Hatter's eyes returned to the cat, and its mouth spread unnaturally across its face, twisting into an impossibly weird smile.

He quickly but quietly closed the door and re-locked it. This was wrong…this was all wrong. He hurried to the bedroom and began scanning the picture frames Alice had distributed amongst various pieces of furniture. He stopped when the one in question caught his eye – it contained a photo of little-girl-Alice and her beloved Dinah. Dinah, who was hit by a car before her father had been kidnapped. Dinah, who was long dead and buried. Dinah, who was apparently scratching his door and smiling at him mere seconds ago.

He turned back to his closet, intent on getting dressed, when he noticed yet another object that didn't belong – a small glass flask filled with pink liquid on his night table. Upon closer inspection, he saw a label hanging from its neck.

Hatter didn't bother to examine it further – he went to his closet and threw open the door. He needed to act, and he needed to act **NOW**. After a moment's deliberation, he walked across the room to his armoire, opened the bottom drawer, and felt his way down stacks of shirts to reach the object he never thought he'd need again. He pulled out his old body armor and held it up, eying the bullet that was still lodged in the upper left shoulder area, from when Dodo had shot him. "Well…at least I know it works…"

He was just about done getting dressed when Alice's voice drifted in from the kitchen. "Hatter? The kettle went off 10 minutes ago…what are you doing in there…?"

What was he gonna tell her? How would she understand? He glanced back at his night table – the flask was gone. Great. Just great. While he attempted to come up with some kind of rational explanation for what he was about to do, he heard her footsteps approaching. "Hatter…?"

Duchess walked into the room wearing Alice's PJs. "No, no, no…" he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. "This is not happening…"

"Hatter?"

He jumped at her touch, opening his eyes to find Alice before him. "Thank God."

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking him up and down. He was wearing a plain white dress shirt, a black suit, black socks, and a black tie. It wasn't his cup of tea, really, but he wanted to be able to blend in, if necessary.

"I'm…I have to go." He grabbed a black fedora from his hat tree and placed it on his head, then bent down to put on black dress shoes.

She paused. "Go? Go where?"

"I have to go back." He stood back up and tried to move past her, but she blocked his way.

"Honey," she began, forcing a smile, "It's the middle of the night and you're dressed like one of the Blues Brothers…"

"I have to go," he repeated.

"Where?" she asked, knowing full well what his intended destination was. He simply looked at her, waiting for her to move. "You're going to Wonderland, aren't you?" she went on, but didn't wait for an answer. "That's it, isn't it…you're going home…"

"No." He spoke with a quiet intensity that made her hold her tongue. He heard what she couldn't bring herself to say – it was as she had always feared. He was leaving her, never to return. Just like all the others. Hatter placed both hands on her shoulders and held her firmly. "This is my home now…wherever you are, that's my home."

Alice nodded in response to his assertion, and was stunned when he forcibly moved her to one side and walked past her. "But you just said…"

"I know what I said," he replied, pausing mid-step. "And I meant every word. But that doesn't change the fact that I have to go."

"Wait! I don't understand…" she followed him into the hall and grabbed his arm.

He stopped again, but refused to face her. "You can't understand. There's something very wrong here…and I have to make it right."

"Try me."

Hatter pulled his arm gently out of her grasp and turned around. "Somehow, someway, Wonderland is leaking into your world."

"What?!?"

He took a deep breath and made another attempt. "I think something is allowing bits and pieces of Wonderland to enter this world…and that can't be good. I need to go back and find out what's going on, try to fix it."

"I'll come with you."

The words had barely escaped her lips before he made a decision about that. "Nope."

"But maybe I can…"

"I said no."

She crossed her arms. "You know, it's not like I'm some helpless little female who can't defend herself."

"I'm well aware of that…but I haven't the slightest clue what's causing this; I can't even begin to imagine what kind of catastrophe I'm going to find myself in the middle of when I arrive…"

"I could help."

Hatter closed his eyes and tried to imagine what he would do if their roles were reversed…of course he would insist on accompanying her. He just…he couldn't let her do the same for him. Not this time. He opened his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry…I…I can't let you come with me." He approached her and pulled her close, kissing her like he might not ever see her again.

She felt the combination of urgency and fear in his touch, and responded with a passion that matched his. When he finally tore himself away and started towards the door, she knew that further argument was useless. No longer worried that he wouldn't choose to come back – it was a silly, fleeting thought, really…she trusted him…completely – she was now afraid that something beyond his control would prevent his safe return. "I love you," she said softly after him.

He lingered at the door, turning his head ever so slightly back. "I know."

And then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Thus Beaten Out of Season - Part 2

After getting in touch with several of Jack's old contacts, Hatter headed for the vacant building that housed the large, out-of-place, decorative mirror Alice had accidentally gone through several months ago. Although the Looking Glass had been all but shut down now that the harvesting of Oysters was forbidden, a couple of functioning doorways back to Wonderland remained open. Apparently there were still some Oysters who had business in Wonderland, or Wonderlanders who had business here. Hatter didn't get it. But he also wasn't particularly interested in the "hows" and "whys"…he just needed a "where." And it was remarkably convenient that _this_ entranceway was still working, as he actually knew where it led. The Looking Glass was a peculiar contraption – he didn't fully understand how it worked. The machine proper, which Alice used to return to her world, could take you to any number of places…but each corresponding "mirror" on the Oyster's side led to a specific location in Wonderland…unless you had comprehensive knowledge of the thing, in which case you could somehow choose your destination in Wonderland…and everyone knew that the Stone of Wonderland was involved, but you didn't always need it for some reason…by the time Hatter reached his reflective gate of choice, his thoughts had been tied in knots from trying to sort it all out.

"Remember to breathe," he muttered to himself, diving into the mirror without delay. His short trip was much like the one he experienced when he followed Alice back to her world – lots of pretty colors and flashing lights…swirling clouds…nothing he hadn't seen before. When he broke through, he landed on his feet, taking a knee to soften the impact. After a pause, he stood up and left the tuffet of green grass and brightly hued flowers for the ill-kept hall. He didn't know if it was mere coincidence that an abandoned building in one world led to an abandoned building in another…but he found his current surroundings far less enticing than his previous ones. At least in the Oyster's world, the structure was essentially empty…here he was surrounded by broken lights and electrical wires dangling from the ceiling, lying on the ground, coming out of the walls….all daring him to touch them, just to see what would happen. As he made his way through the maze of walls towards the mustard colored doors that would take him outside, he was struck by something…odd. The ground felt a bit slippery beneath his feet, and it was then he realized that he should be ankle-deep in water. He crouched down and examined the ground, running a finger along its unnaturally smooth surface.

"Ice."

He continued on his way, and was welcomed by a shocking sight when he reached the now-doorless doorway. Whatever doubts he might have had about the necessity of his current excursion were blown away by what his eyes perceived. Deciding to take a moment to plan his next move, he kept himself concealed within the shadows of the building. It was only as he debated who he should seek out first that another thought occurred to him. He returned to the miniature grassy knoll and leaned against the wall. "Five minutes," he told himself. That's all he could afford. But he didn't even have to wait that long – she only took two.

There was a flash of light, then Alice seemingly fell out of the ceiling and onto the tiny lawn. She groaned and tried to sit up, a pile of blue and deep purple, clearly disoriented. Hatter sighed, moving to her side. "Just sit for a minute, get your bearings."

She leaned against him, unable to speak. It was interesting, the way people from different worlds reacted to the same experience. His trip through the Looking Glass left him no worse for wear, ready to go immediately upon landing. Oysters, however, often found the journey difficult. Some were able to remain conscious, but found themselves confused and dizzy when they came out the other side…some even vomited. Others were rendered unconscious by the stress of it all. It varied from Oyster to Oyster…and from trip to trip. Wonderlanders, though, typically did not suffer any ill-effects. He could only assume this was due to the fact that they belonged to the same world as the Looking Glass. They were made of the same…stuff, so to speak.

"Ugh…" Alice moaned. "That's just like I remembered it."

"Do you think you can stand?"

"Give me a sec…"

He gave her more than one…but it was less than sixty before she struggled to get on her feet. He supported her until he was sure she was stable. "Ok?"

"Yeah...fabulous."

He helped her down the slight incline and onto the ice-coated path. "Be careful, it's slippery."

"Right."

He offered her his arm when he noticed she was wearing her trusty black and white Chuck Taylor All Stars – they had rubber soles, but weren't particularly good on ice. "Hold on to me…I'll make sure you don't fall."

Still too spacey to argue, she accepted his offer gratefully, and they slowly made their way through the labyrinthine halls. "You were waiting for me…"

"I suspected you might try to follow me."

She examined his face. "Are you angry?"

He seriously considered the question before responding. "I'm not happy," he admitted, "but since I probably would've done the same thing in your place, I don't see how I can blame you."

They walked the rest of the way without speaking. It wasn't until they made it to the exit that Alice released his arm and walked past him to stand in the doorway. "It's…beautiful." She turned back and smiled at him. "A winter Wonderland."

Hatter walked up and stood beside her, surveying the scene beyond the building. "Except…" She had returned to admiring the view, but looked at him when she heard his tone of voice. "…except there is no winter in Wonderland. And that's not snow."

"Then…what…?"

He held his hand outside and allowed the white-ish powdery substance to collect in his hand. When a sufficient amount had accumulated, he brought it up to his face for closer inspection. He pinched some between his thumb and index finger, rubbing them together. "Ash. This is ash."

"But that doesn't make any…"

"Something's burning." He brushed the material off his hands as he stepped out onto the ledge and searched the panoramic landscape before him. But he saw no evidence of smoke. "Or something _was_ burning. Something big."

"Do you have any idea how _big_ something has to be to produce this much ash?"

"Yes," he replied impatiently, then paused to ponder her question. "No. Not necessarily. Things aren't always as they seem in Wonderland." He glanced both ways before deciding on a direction. "Come on…"

"What if it's the Great Library?"

Her words made him hesitate. The thought had crossed his mind, but he dismissed it out of a combination of disbelief and dread. Unbeknownst to her, he had kept tabs on Jack and the state of Wonderland since joining Alice in her world. From what he could glean from his own contacts' reports, Jack was turning out to be a fine King – the kind of king that Wonderland needed, the kind it deserved. However, he had chosen to keep the existence of the Great Library a secret…at least, for now. Hatter didn't have anyone close enough to the King to find out exactly what the reasoning behind this decision was, but he could guess the other man's motive. Wonderland was still in a state of flux; it would be unwise to reveal the complete collection of treasures all at once…especially since his mother, the doctors Dee and Dum, and several other key members of the former regime were unaccounted for. How they had managed to disappear, Hatter didn't know, but he was certain that they should not be underestimated. Still, the King was slowly but surely bringing long lost pieces of art, literature, and history back into the everyday lives of his people…

"Hatter!"

"Sorry," he said, coming back to reality.

"I think we should check on the Great Library," Alice asserted, heading off in one direction.

"First of all," he started, grabbing her arm, "the Great Library isn't that way. Secondly, we're not going there…if it's already been burned to the ground, there's nothing we can do about it."

She shook him off. "All right, fine. What then?"  
He was surprised by her sudden change of mood. "I say we find Charlie."

"Charlie…? Are you serious? Like he's gonna know anything…"

Hatter took a step back and eyed her suspiciously. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah…I'm…" she put a hand up to her head and closed her eyes. "I'm still not quite right. I'm sorry." She opened her eyes and stepped towards him. "Why Charlie?"

"He's the only one I trust."

That seemed to be enough for her, as she followed him without protest thereafter. He made sure that he was the one closest to the edge of the path, keeping her safely against the walls of the buildings as they walked. She said nothing about the height bothering her, but he could feel anxiety radiating off her with each careful step she took. He grabbed her hand, a move that he hoped would help put her at ease, if only a little.

To an outsider, the city proper was a disorganized tangle of twists and turns – a confusing mess of alleys and dead ends…but to the natives, it was simply an intricate web of pathways that was part of their daily lives. Hatter had no difficulty getting around, and Alice trusted him. But she was taken aback when she recognized the building they were approaching.

"We're going _there_?"

They stopped by the random red telephone booth while he assessed the situation. "Just for a tick."

His old Tea House stood dark and silent against its backdrop, a silent testament to what once was. It made him a little sad to see that time had forgotten it, overgrown with weeds, its formerly vibrant sign now a blank slate of unlit bulbs. But there was something unnatural about the stillness that surrounded it. "Something's not right…"

"You've said that, like, five times today," she complained.

As if on cue, several men, all dressed in black suits with various numbers/symbols painted on them, emerged from inside the ostensibly abandoned tea shop and formed a line across the porch. "And I've been right each and every time," he replied, lowering his voice. "Damn…I was hoping Doormouse might be scurrying around in there somewhere…"

"I thought you wanted to find Charlie."

"I do…but…"

"You can't just change our plan without telling me."

He barely heard her – he was busy observing the suits, who were standing unnaturally still. As if they were waiting for something. Or someone. He involuntarily shuddered at the notion that popped into his head. Mad March. No…that was impossible…he had shattered that sicko's second head himself…he remembered the sound the pieces of that befouled cookie jar made, tinkling to the floor of his torture chamber after he put his fist through it. Still…he couldn't help but feel like he'd done this before…

"You're not listening to me."

"I think we should get out of here," he said, sneaking back the way they came.

"You're doing it again!"

When they turned a corner, and were out of sight of his old haunt, he addressed her concerns. "Look, Alice, I don't know what you want from me. I told you to stay at home, but you decided to follow me here. And that's fine…but things are happening fast, and I don't have the time to confer with you about every last detail of my ever-changing strategy." Hatter took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. She was _really_ starting to get on his nerves, and he couldn't figure out why. It was almost as if whatever was affecting Wonderland had somehow also changed her. She was a bit…off. Not so much that you would notice on the surface…it was a subtle alteration, one that only someone close to her would detect. Someone like him. Or maybe it was all in his head…maybe there was something wrong with _him_. No…no, he rejected that notion. He had to. "I don't want to fight," he finally said. "I'll try to be better about keeping you in the loop, ok?"

For a second time, his words appeared to pacify her, and they were again on their way. "We're going to find a boat and take it across the lake," he informed her.

"Retrace our steps from last time?"

"Exactly. I just hope Charlie kept to his fortress after we left…"

They made their way down several different ramps, going deeper and deeper into the city until they reached ground level. Once there, it took some searching, but they finally came across a number of boats, docked neatly in a row, all alike in color, size, and structure. In fact, on the surface they appeared to be exactly the same…carbon copies of the one they had appropriated back when they were running from Mad March and his posse. Hatter wisely kept these thoughts to himself, so as not to further provoke his temperamental-of-late girlfriend.

She glanced at him questioningly, and he gestured that she should choose their method of transportation. After considering each of the boat-clones, she settled on the one closest to open water. He jumped in after her, started the engine after a few tries – he still didn't have the hang of these things – and they were off, speeding across the calm waters of the lake. Though their journey took a while, Alice remained strangely silent. Since arriving in Wonderland, she only spoke (a) when spoken to or (b) to demand information. While Hatter had grown accustomed to her…stubbornness…her tenacity…she was acting like a whiny spoiled brat, not a grown woman full of moxy. Almost a stereotype of who she truly was. Not. His. Alice. He hoped that when he finally got to the bottom of things, his solution would not only save Wonderland from whatever malady it was currently suffering from, it would bring the old Alice back. The real one.

As they approached the opposite shore, Hatter weighed his options. In the end, he chose to moor the boat in approximately the same place he had after arranging the meeting between Alice and Caterpillar – the cove was relatively concealed, and wasn't too far from Charlie's fortress, thus their actions could remain unnoticed, for the time being. As an added bonus, they wouldn't have to risk running into the Jabberwock on the way. He didn't share any of this with Alice, and she didn't question him on this particular matter. He supposed that her knowing their final destination was enough. They climbed out of the boat, securing it to a tree, then started their short hike towards the White Knight's citadel. Ash continued to drift through the air, light and fluffy and ominous. It looked as if the cinders were literally falling over the whole of Wonderland, not just the city. His concern increased a notch.

"Watch out for Charlie's traps," he warned. "Last time we were lucky."

"Forget his traps," she replied. "Watch out for Charlie. If we set off one of his alarms, he'll be lying in wait for us."

But neither one's cautions were necessary; they found the White Knight asleep in his hammock, clutching a small sack of…an unidentified substance.

"Charlie…" Hatter called quietly. "Charlie…"

Alice was suddenly in some kind of rush – she grabbed Charlie's shoulder and shook him. "Charlie, wake up."

The old man woke with a start, inadvertently falling out of his hammock in the process. "Who goes there?" He demanded, trying to get his bearings from the ground.

"It's just us, Charlie," Hatter said gently, crouching beside the aged knight while shooting a dirty look at his girlfriend. "Are you all right?"

"My dear boy," Charlie began, brushing himself off as he stood. "I am a knight of the ancient realm, I have faced far worse than…"

"Good," Alice interrupted. "Because we don't have time for…"

Hatter was incensed by her rudeness, but Charlie didn't seem to notice. He beamed when he recognized her. "Dear, sweet Alice…you have returned." Ignoring Hatter, he approached the young woman and threw his arms around her. "How I've missed you."

And in the blink of an eye, she returned to her old self. "Charlie," she cried, holding him tightly, "It's _so_ good to see you…"

"I knew your arrival would not be long in coming," the White Knight proclaimed, pulling back from the embrace. "I was sure you wouldn't abandon us in this, our time of need…"

"Of course not," she assured him, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend when the old man looked away. She was back in full-blown obnoxious mode...apparently her greeting had not been sincere after all.

"Charlie," Hatter started, waiting for the other man to focus on him before continuing. "What happened here?"

"I have no idea," he replied, before deliberately dropping his voice to a whisper, "but I suspect it has to do with the _black arts_…"

"I thought you were proficient in the practice of the _black arts_," Alice interjected, holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers as she said "black arts," mocking him.

"I am." Charlie stood up straight, feeling the full force of her insinuation. "I mean…I was. A long time ago, I was a _master_ of the black arts…but now…I merely dabble in them from time to time."

"So you're of no help to us," she snapped.

Hatter could barely believe her impertinence as he watched the White Knight shrink at her words. "Perhaps not…"

"Of course you are," Hatter jumped in. "You're a survivor, right? Black arts or not, you've outlasted nearly everyone of the old kingdom. And that counts for something."

"No, she's right, I'm utterly useless…I might as well give up and lay down right here." He did just that – dramatically spreading his limbs in all directions as he spoke. "Join my kith and kin in the deepest sleep there is…to dream no more…to wake no more…"

First Alice becomes perpetually snarky, now Charlie is drowning in a dramatic sea of self-pity. At least the dramatic part fit…"Listen," Hatter said, grabbing both of Charlie's arms and forcing him to stand. "We need you." He put an arm around the knight's shoulder and started to walk, drawing him away from Alice's black hole of pessimism, "I haven't been around to witness recent events…I've been keeping an eye on things from afar, but evidently I've missed something. I have to depend on you for a full report of everything that's happened since I've left."

The other man was clearly weighing the truth his words…maybe he needed a little more of a push. "Besides, I've seen you in action…using the black arts to help find Alice in the casino. Without you, I definitely would have been captured before I could figure out where they stashed her. So if some kind of dark magic is at work, we'll need whatever skills you have…"

"Indeed. If you're right…if the person who did this has an aptitude for such a sinister power…" Charlie visibly trembled at the mere thought. "You'll need all the help you can get."

"So you're in?"

"Only if Alice thinks me worthy."

The two turned to her, standing back by his hammock. "Of course I do…I don't know what came over me…I shouldn't have said the things I did. Can you forgive me?"

"A lady need never apologize," Charlie assured her.

"Good," Hatter said, trying to read Alice's face, half-hidden by the shadows cast by the setting sun. From what he could see, she maintained a completely blank expression. For the moment, he would let it pass. "Ok, Charlie, tell me what you know…"


	3. Chapter 3

Thus Beaten Out of Season - Part 3

The next morning, Hatter awoke to a strange sensation…that of not being woken up. It felt like ages since he enjoyed a restful sleep – void of monsters, torture, death…Duchess. Yet here he was, in the midst of chaos – quite possibly of epic proportions – and he slept like a baby. Slept like a baby…he never understood that expression. Didn't babies wake up every 5 minutes…?

He rubbed his eyes as he tried to concentrate. His mind had suddenly begun wandering off on a fairly regular basis, dwelling on inconsequential claptrap…it was like his brain had a mind of its own. Hmmmm….where had _that_ idea come from? Who cared? This was neither the time nor the place for matters of philosophy…or was it? Since when was he prone to idle thoughts? And the attention span of a young child suffering from ADD? Oh look – a squirrel…

"Stop," he ordered himself through clenched teeth. "Focus."

By sheer force of will, he quieted his own mind and returned to his original question. When had this proclivity for drifting off into his own little world started? It must have been… "When I entered Wonderland," he said quietly. Aside from his relatively short "what's up with the Looking Glass?" meditation right before he left the Oyster's world, he had no recollection of having routinely experienced such…disorganized thoughts. Could he be a victim of the same unnamed force that had caused ash from a huge elusive fire to flurry the whole of his world? Had he too fallen under the influence of the same spell that distorted both Alice and Charlie's personalities? Was this some kind of cruel joke…turning him into his own version of the illustrious 'Mad Hatter'? Wonderland was a fickle mistress…and whoever was currently at her helm had a sick sense of humor. As soon as he…

Wait.

Hatter sat up in the makeshift bed he had used once before. He glanced at the real bed, and then the hammock, just to make sure Alice and Charlie were still there, before following his most recent revelation down the rabbit hole.

The ash was not piling up…not on the ground, not on his person…aside from a light dusting of chalky residue on the forest floor, there was no physical evidence that anything had been falling from the sky for the last day or so. It was as if each ghostly speck disappeared as soon as it came into contact with solid objects….

He had never seen snow before. Not really. Not in person. He had heard about it, read about it, but never actually witnessed fluffy clouds sprinkling delicate ice crystals onto the ground below. When the weathermen on the radio called for a snowstorm, he asked Alice about it.

"What is this…snow?"

"Are you serious?" she asked, venturing a glimpse at his expression before returning her attention to the road.

"I…never mind."

"I wasn't making fun," she claimed, reaching over to touch his leg. "It just…never occurred to me…"

Slightly embarrassed by his ignorance, especially since it sounded like this was a relatively common type of precipitation, he felt he had to defend himself. "If there are things that exist in Wonderland and not over here, I don't see why it's such a stretch for…"

"It's not. You're right." Alice returned her hand to the steering wheel. "It's easy to forget, though…for all the differences between our worlds, the simple, everyday things were mostly the same."

Hatter wasn't sure he agreed with that, but he couldn't argue with the point she was trying to make. "I suppose."

"Can I…would you mind if I…" she stopped and collected her thoughts. "I'm going to teach you all about snow."

"That's really not necessary…"

"I insist," she replied, ending the conversation with an overused cliché and a twinkle in her eye.

That night, she made a large bowl of popcorn, turned the lights down low, and popped a movie in his Blu-ray player. Transfixed from the opening titles, he was completely drawn into the story that unfolded before his eyes…the rest of the humanity melted away as he entered a world not unlike his own. It was only when the closing credits rolled that he returned to reality. Alice had eaten the entire bowl of popcorn – much to his surprise – and was curled up under a blanket on the far end of the couch.

"Well…?"

"That was…just what I needed. I get it."

"I thought it might help."

The TV screen cast a glow that was both hard and soft all at once, illuminating the half of her face closest to it. The other half remained in the shadows, its features barely perceptible in the mysterious darkness. She was as captivating as her chosen method of explanation. Exquisite. "You're magnificent."

"I have my moments."

"You're perfect."

Even in the dimness he could see her blush. "You're mad."

"And oh so clever," he grinned, despite the gratuitous reference to the one 'of legend.'

"Afraid I might outsmart you?" she inquired playfully.

"Oh no…I like my girls clever," he replied, slowly standing. "It makes things all the more interesting."

Alice giggled and leapt off the couch. "Let's see if you can keep up." And off she ran down the hall, headed for the bedroom…

"Hatter!"

Alice's face was inches from his own. "Can I help you?"

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking." He stood, forcing her to give him some room. "Where's Charlie?"

"He wandered off," she said, gesturing carelessly in a general direction. "He mumbled something about having to feed…Ambrose? God knows what kind of pets he has out here…"

"We should be ready to leave as soon as he gets back."

"Ready? What kind of preparations do you think I need to make? All I have are the clothes on my back…"

Good old Alice. Not Alice. He let her whining fade into the background while he waited for Not Charlie to return from his…culinary errand. He made a mental note to be more attentive to his surroundings, and to the condition of cindery debris in particular. It had taken him far too long to detect this odd faux pas in logic…he wondered how many other discrepancies he'd missed along the way. He needed to make more of an effort to keep his wits about him.

You know…it was kinda funny…that snowstorm ended up missing them completely. He still hadn't seen snow up close…

"Have you heard a single thing I said?"

"We'll discuss it when Charlie's here," he sighed.

"But…"

"I'm not going to have this discussion twice, especially when there's no reason for it."

She crossed her arms and stormed away, a little girl stomping off to have a private temper tantrum. Hatter let her go. Truth be told, he had chosen his words carefully, aiming to elicit such a response. He wasn't in the mood for her yammering…even with an uninterrupted night of sleep, he was starting to develop a pounding headache.

With Not Alice at a safe distance, he could sift through the details of last night's performance once again. (Charlie found it necessary to act out recent events for them, a presentation which included several sock puppets, a rock with plastic eyes glued to it, and a musical number.) Unfortunately, he didn't discover anything helpful. Though he had no doubt that Charlie's narrative was relatively accurate, it was mostly an overly exaggerated play-by-play of his solitary existence in the forest. From what he could ascertain, there hadn't been any cause for alarm...even the ashfall had apparently just begun, the first flakes spotted around the same time as he arrived.

"I have returned," the White Knight announced, breaking Hatter's train of thought as he approached him with Alice in tow. "Shall we…?"

"You don't even know where we're going."

"Ah, but I do…I conferred with Ambrose as he enjoyed his meal, and he told me all."

"Who, or what, is Ambrose?" Hatter asked.

"He is my friend." Both he and Alice waited expectantly, but Charlie was oblivious to their anticipation of further explanation. He looked at the sky, gray and sunless. "Now, which direction is it…?"

"What kind of friend?"

Charlie was insulted by the hint of skepticism in the other man's voice. "That is not of any consequence…I trust him, and that's all you need know."

But Hatter wasn't taking anything for granted…not with the state of things the way they were. For all he knew, Ambrose was some kind of spy that duped the ancient knight. "Please. Tell us."

"Very well…if you insist…"

"I do."

"Ambrose is a six foot tall invisible rabbit."

He said it so matter-of-factly that even Alice temporarily lost her snark. "Come again?"

"I met him not long after you both left…you see…"

"If he's invisible, how do you know he's a rabbit?" Alice wondered.

"Ok," Hatter interrupted. "That's all I needed to hear. Thank you, Charlie."

"But I thought…"

"Yes, well…you've told me more than enough."

"What are you insinuating?" Charlie asked suspiciously.

"Nothing…I simply wanted to ascertain whether or not your friend might pose a threat to us…but in my experience, invisible bunnies tend to be a good sort."

The old man's face lit up. "Would you like me to introduce you?"

Hatter paused. Outward appearances notwithstanding, he knew that the White Knight wasn't crazy. Delightfully eccentric? Yes. Out of his mind? No. He had to remind himself that, like Alice, this was Not Charlie. "Nope…I'm good."

Disappointment crossed his face, but it dissipated quickly. "Very well. I suppose you're right…this is no time for social gatherings…"

"Where did Ambrose say we were going?" Alice inquired.

"The Great Library, of course. What else could bury Wonderland in a blanket of fiery dust?"

Hatter fought to hold his tongue. Even though these words should have sparked some kind of comment about the lack of accumulation, he remained the only one to make such an observation...at the very least, Alice should have noticed. But she said nothing. At least, she said nothing about the mystery of the missing ash. "That's exactly what I said!" she exclaimed.

"Then let us away to…"

"No."

They both turned to look at Hatter. "No?" Charlie asked incredulously. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"We're not going to the Great Library."

"But if that's where the action is…"

"_Was_," Hatter corrected him. "Like I said to Alice before – if it's so far gone that dying embers can permeate all of Wonderland, then it's beyond saving."

"I assume you have some sort of alternate course of action in mind," Charlie said with a bit of a sneer.

"Jack. We need to talk to Jack."

Alice's anger was unmistakable. "You're not serious…after all he did…"

Nothing about her reactions shocked Hatter anymore. His Alice might have felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of seeing her ex, but he knew she held no animosity towards him. "He's the King of Wonderland…if anyone can shed some light on this…unusual weather, it's him."

"But the library…" she protested.

"If you and Charlie want to chase your tails, go right ahead…but I'm the only one of us who knows the Great Library's location…and I'm going to find Jack."

"Fine," she grumbled.

"But…the casino…that's certain death…" Charlie mumbled.

Hatter froze. "What did you say?"

"The casino, it's…"

The former Tea Shop proprietor felt a stab of fear. "The casino is gone. We destroyed it…"

"And the King built a new one, of course…where else was he to hold court?"

He glanced at Alice. His or not, he wouldn't allow her emotions to be drained against her will. "But I thought they didn't harvest Oysters anymore."

"They don't…but a King needs his castle. Doesn't he?"

There was no use in continuing the discussion…what was a man of sense to do in a world overcome by nonsense? Things falling from the sky that vanish on impact, invisible rabbits, casinos that shouldn't exist…there was nothing he could do but go with the flow…pretend that everything was all well and good, and see this to the end. "Where is it?"

"Built upon the very spot where the previous structure stood."

Of course it was. "Do you still have the horses?"

"Naturally," he replied, turning around and walking away from him. "This way."

He looked at Alice, who seemingly accepted recent events – including his suggestion to call on the King – and addressed her. "Ready to visit a blast from the past?"

Though she tried to hide it, he could hear the smile that crept into her voice as she moved past him to follow Charlie. "You're such a dork."

That small glimmer of _Alice_ was enough to rekindle his hope…


	4. Chapter 4

Thus Beaten Out of Season - Part 4

The trek to the casino was a long one…made longer still thanks to Charlie's incessant singing…

"Heeeeeeeeeeey, nonny nonny," he crooned for the zillionth time, his horse slightly ahead of theirs.

"Aren't there any other words to this song?" Alice moaned softly into her companion's ear as she leaned her head against his back.

For once, Hatter agreed with her. "Apparently not. Do you think he takes requests?"

"Somehow I don't think he has an extensive knowledge of show tunes," she shot back.

Hatter smiled. "Show tunes?"

"Can you come up with of a genre of music he'd be more likely to listen to?"

She had a good point. "In that case, maybe we should consider ourselves lucky that this is the only melody he's familiar with."

Alice sat up and gave him a playful shove. "Even though it consists of a never-ending refrain of three words?"

"In light of my other options, it's growing on me."

She let out a quiet laugh, then leaned back against him, wrapping her arms gently around his waist. Her sudden…personality shift had done wonders for his own attitude. Alice, it seemed, was returning to her old self. Although he couldn't point to anything in particular that might have initiated the change, he was grateful for it…it made him feel like he had one less thing to worry about…one less burden to bear. Still, he was careful not to let his newfound optimism cloud his judgment – there was still something terribly wrong here, so it was important for him to stay alert. Additionally, though he was loathe to think it, there was no guarantee that this transformation was permanent…there was always the possibility that Not Alice might rear her selfish, miserable head at any time.

And so, he mentally placed this moment somewhere safe and warm within his heart…if the other one returned, he could use it to remind himself that she wasn't beyond saving…the real her was still in there.

Charlie's voice resonated through the forest even as the trees began to thin. The ash continued to fall at a slow but steady pace, though there were still no sign of any kind of significant buildup. "We should be getting close, right?" Hatter called ahead.

"You'll be able to see it once we make it up this hill," the White Knight replied over his shoulder before returning to his song.

He was right – when they reached the crest of the mount, Happy Hearts Casino came into full view. Hatter halted his horse to gape at the towering edifice, which appeared to be identical to the last one. It stood tall and awkward against its natural surroundings…a sore thumb sticking out in the middle of nowhere. The actual structure of the building made him feel… ill at ease. While he appreciated the unique design, the architectural genius of creating a real life "house of cards," he couldn't discount its major flaw – narrow at the bottom, wide on top, it was a disaster waiting to happen…he had held this opinion back when the Queen of Hearts ruled the roost, and a change in management did nothing to quell his concern.

He nudged his horse with his foot, and the animal started down the hill, instinctively quickening its pace to catch up with their tone-deaf friend. But Charlie had stopped at the bottom to wait for them. "So…" he began when the others pulled up beside him. "What is our line of attack?"

"We didn't come here to start any trouble," Hatter replied. "We came here to find out what's going on…"

"But what if _they_ are the ones who caused it?"

"Then we'll find that out soon enough." Charlie looked like he was going to protest, so Hatter explained further. "Until we know for sure, we don't want to go in guns blazing…it's better to play it safe. Besides, if they _are_ behind it, we're far more likely to discover the details if we approach them as friends."

"Aaaaaaaaaah," the White Knight said, nodding in approval. "This is to be a _covert_ operation, then? Very clever…"

Alice spoke up. "Exactly. So no bursting in and making any wild accusations…"

"My lady," Charlie interrupted, "I am well versed in the practice of such secret missions, and I can assure you that I am up to the task."

"Good. So it's settled?" Hatter asked, waiting for a sign of agreement from both before continuing. "Then I propose we simply walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell."

"Right you are…the more straightforward we appear to be, the better," Charlie proclaimed.

The three made their way to the front of the casino, dismounting when they arrived at the mall-like glass doors. Alice reached for the handle, but Hatter put his hand on her arm. "I don't want to barge in unannounced…they may interpret that as an aggressive move."

"Sorry." She lowered her arm and glanced to the walls on either side of the doors. "Doorbell?"

On the right, there was a contraption that looked like an intercom. Hatter approached it and pressed one of the buttons. After a minute, a voice came through the speaker. "Hello?"

"Um…yes…we'd like to…uh…see the King."

Alice shot him an annoyed look. "What was that?"

He shrugged. "I froze for a second."

"Names," the voice demanded.

"Hatter, Alice, and Charlie."

"Well…at least it didn't sound rehearsed," she whispered as they waited for a response.

Not long after, someone appeared at one of the doors…it was the 10 of Clubs. "I could barely believe the security camera," he said, holding out a hand to shake each of theirs. "What are you three doing out here?"

"We'd like to see the King," Hatter replied, "if that's possible."

"Yes, of course." 10 held the door open and indicated that they should enter. As they walked into the lobby, Hatter scanned the room. It was just as he remembered it, full of shiny new floors and perfectly smooth walls decorated with geometric shapes…the color scheme a stark black and white with a touch of grey and a splattering of blood red here and there, giving it a quaint, nightmarish feel.

"This looks familiar," Alice commented, trying to keep her voice light.

"Yes, well, the King wanted us to recreate the old casino…it was a painstaking process trying to get all the details _just_ right."

That was enough chit-chat for Hatter; he was ready to get down to business. "So about meeting with him…"

"Right…I'm sure he'd be happy to receive you…but he's currently out of the casino. He had an appointment."

"When do you expect him back?"

"Not long from now…an hour, two at the most. If you don't mind waiting, I can see to it that your horses are looked after, and perhaps take you on a tour?"

The three of them exchanged glances. They had come this far, they might as well stay. "Thank you," Hatter answered for all of them, "that sounds delightful, but…would you mind if I skipped the guided tour?"

"Hatter?" Alice stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. "Is something wrong?"

"No. It's just…I'd rather get some rest."

"Of course," 10 said. "I can take you to one of the guest rooms if you'd prefer." He turned to the others. "And yourselves?"

"I would be delighted to take a turn through these hallowed halls, that I may bask in their splendor," Charlie replied, with a slight bow.

"Alice?"

She shrugged. "Sure…what else have I got to do?" She looked over at Hatter. "If that's all right with you."

"Yup."

As 10 escorted them through the casino, Hatter subtly made it a point to peek into a number of game rooms. Empty. All of them. They were taken up several stories to a bedroom, sparsely furnished, but grandiose nonetheless. "You can rest here. If there's anything you need…"

"No, this is fine."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Alice offered.

"That's ok…you go ahead with Charlie. Make sure he doesn't touch anything."

"In a place like this, I'm sure the policy is, 'you break it, you buy it'," she agreed, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you in a little bit."

"Have fun."

Alone in the room, Hatter couldn't help but notice how…eerily desolate it felt. It was so cold and smooth, with black circles and squares and triangles all over, random sheer white curtains hanging from the ceiling, and a small-ish circular bed also covered in white – the comforter, the dust ruffle, the various pillows of different shapes and sizes – all pure as snow. It was uninspired. Sterile. Standing there in his plain suit and tie, he couldn't help but think that he blended in with the room...black and white and plain. Boring, really.

He walked over to the bed and sat down. His headache from before was getting worse; the pain had increased steadily since he first noticed it, making it even more difficult to think clearly. He lay back on the bed, letting his legs hang over the edge, and stared at the ceiling. There were strings of crystals hanging over him…a sort of expensive mobile made up of chunks of sparkly clear glass. Although he couldn't detect a breeze, the strings seemed to be moving ever so slightly in a circle… from time to time a ray of light from outside would hit one just right and the shimmer of a miniature rainbow would catch his eye. It was hypnotizing…

A light knock at the door interrupted his rumination.

"Come in," he said. It was barely a whisper. He suddenly felt so sleepy…it took all his strength to scoot up the bed and prop himself halfway up against the pillows. And still his gaze remained upward.

"I was told we had guests," the gentle female voice said. "I came to make sure you were comfortable."

With great effort, he tore his eyes away from the glittering rainbows dancing overhead. It was Duchess…donning a distinctive outfit. Her blonde hair was down, long and flowing down her back, and her makeup was, in Hatter's opinion, a bit overdone. Especially the eyes. Around her neck, she wore a black leather choker covered in heart-shaped rubies, which sparkled in time to the same silent music as the crystals overhead. Her top covered her characteristically-exposed midriff: a crimson corset with black trim and each suit represented in a line that lead from her cleavage to her abdomen – heart, spade, diamond, club, also in black. Her skirt followed the same color scheme, but in reverse…it was a long, tight black number with red accents around the edges and a slit that went way up…well, it went up pretty damn high. As she entered the room, he noticed what looked like several black satin ropes dangling behind her, though he couldn't figure out where they were coming from…but none of these things surprised him. What he found incredible was the fact that this woman, who clearly took pains to ensure that her ensembles were perfectly assembled down to the last, miniscule detail, was barefoot. An outfit like this called for stiletto heels…even Hatter knew that. Questionable taste in fashion aside, a girl like Duchess would definitely know better.

"Here, let me make you more comfortable," she offered, removing his shoes one at a time and dropping them to the floor. "See…isn't that better?"

He tried to move, but found that he couldn't, and the quiet panic that had been nagging around the corners of his brain now flooded in. He went to speak, but only an incomprehensible sound escaped.

Ostensibly, Duchess took this to be encouragement, because she proceeded to crawl up the bed next to him. "This tie looks like it's very constricting…let's do something about that…" She leaned over him and loosened his tie, then proceeded to unbutton the top few buttons of his shirt. "Oooooooh," she cooed when she saw his body armor, "You brought protection. How sensible…"

Between his sudden paralysis and Duchess stripping him one article of clothing at a time, Hatter was growing progressively alarmed with each second that passed. But "Mmmmmmm," was all protest he could manage.

Luckily, she temporarily stopped undressing him. Instead, she lay on her left side, propping her head up with one arm, while her free hand caressed his face. "You and I have a lot to discuss…" she began. He must have managed a quizzical expression, because she went on to clarify the statement. "You have some information that I want."

Hatter's confusion deepened. What could _he_ possibly know that Duchess would have the slightest interest in? He hadn't been in Wonderland for months…and that was in Oyster time…which translated into a helluva lot longer in Wonderland time. Unless she wanted some inside information on Alice…but to what end? She had Jack…what more could she want…? "Uhhhhhhhhhh…"

"And let me assure you, by the time I'm done with you…you'll tell me anything my heart desires…"

He squinched his eyelids together, shutting out the reality before them, turning his world into a safe blackness. He could fight this…he had to. Ignoring the fingers that were lightly moving down his chin…to his neck…to the top of his chest…he used the last shred of organized thought he had left to take control of his body. "Stop," he mumbled, but his voice was barely perceptible to himself…he doubted Duchess could hear him. Not that she would listen.

He fought against the gentle numbness that had drifted over his soul even as Duchess' hand made its way past his body armor to his waist. "No…"

"Hush," she breathed. "You're probably going to enjoy this even more than I will…"

It was the sound of his belt buckle being undone that was the final straw – weak but resolute, he pushed her hand away. "I said no."

A man cleared his throat across the room. Duchess looked over her shoulder and Hatter struggled to raise his head. It was the 10 of Clubs. "His majesty has returned."

Duchess glanced back at Hatter, throwing him an infuriated look, then rolled off the bed and stood. Her back to him, he finally understood what the ropes were – they laced up the back of her corset, though they were so long they reached the floor. "Very well," she replied, her voice disappointed.

"Hatter?"

Miraculously, Hatter's mind and body were abruptly released from whatever enchantment they had been under, and he was able to stand easily. "Where's Alice? And Charlie?" he asked as he fixed his clothes.

"They'll be along presently."

He hurriedly tied his shoes and headed for the door, brushing past Duchess. He was eager to get out of this room and be reunited with his friends. "But where are they…?"

Walking into the hallway, he nearly knocked Alice down. "Sorry, Charlie felt the need to examine one of the roulette tables with a magnifying glass…literally. Something about it being haunted…"

Honestly, he could have cared less what had kept them. As long as they were both safe. He threw his arms around her before she could finish. It was like the first hug they'd shared in the casino, only this time the roles were reversed.

"What's gotten into you…?" she laughed. "What did you think…" her voice trailed off as she stiffened in his arms. "Oh."

Duchess moved past them and continued to walk down the hall. "This way…"

Hatter reluctantly let go of Alice. "Listen, nothing…"

"I know," she cut him off. "I trust you." Her voice was low, but displeased. "I just don't like it."

They followed Duchess, grabbing Charlie, who was pondering his own reflection in a gleaming white wall, on the way. Before them, the black ropes that held Duchess' corset tight around her torso cascaded down to the floor, brushing the ground with each step she took, an array of fabric pendulums ticking away. Behind them, the 10 of Clubs brought up the rear.

When they reached the set of large doors at the end of corridor, Duchess stopped. She stepped back and waited for 10 to open them for her. He did so with much ceremony, grabbing both handles and flinging the doors open to reveal the splendor within. On the other end of the room, Jack sat erect on his throne – an ornate gold chair had replaced his mother's stylistic red heart on the raised stage. He waited for the group to enter before he came down the steps and approached them.

He addressed Duchess first, wrapping his left arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Kitten," he began playfully, making no effort to reduce the volume of his voice, "were you a good girl while I was gone?"

She placed her hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes. "I thought you liked it when I was bad."

"True enough."

Hatter was flabbergasted that Jack would participate in such a…personal, suggestive exchange in front of others…especially considering who one of those others was. Not to mention the fact that he was KING. But Jack turned to his guests before he had a chance to take that thought any further. "Alice, Hatter, Charlie…what a pleasant surprise." He offered his hand to Hatter and Charlie, then shared a mildly awkward hug with Alice.

"Thanks for seeing us on such short notice," Hatter managed, recovering more quickly than the other two.

"Of course…so what brings you here?" The King turned around and returned to his throne, gracefully snatching the ropes dangling from Duchess' corset as he passed her. She followed obediently, up the stairs to a level slightly lower than Jack's, where she sat on the floor, tucking her legs behind her.

Hatter was outraged…he may have little, if any, respect for Duchess, but that didn't give anyone the right to treat another human being as a…a…

Pet.

Her choker wasn't a piece of jewelry lovingly bestowed on her.

It was a collar.

He waited for Alice to say something…to protest the obvious objectification of a fellow woman…but he couldn't detect even a hint of disapproval or disgust when she spoke. None directed at Jack, anyhow. "Hatter had a bad dream."

Hearing those words as they dripped with fresh sarcasm, he witnessed the return of Not Alice.

"Really? A bad dream?" Jack scoffed. "Do tell…"

"No," he said, calm but firm. "It was _months_ of nightmares…and I wouldn't have bothered if it was just that. There was also…evidence of our worlds overlapping."

"Did you observe such evidence?" the King asked Alice.

"No."

"Charlie?"

The White Knight stood at attention, ready to assist his King in any way possible. "I have not seen anything to indicate such an event is happening here in Wonderland, but I cannot say what has or has not occurred in the Oyster's realm."

"I see."

"What about the ash?" Hatter insisted. "You're not about to tell me that's _normal_, are you?"

"Not at all…but you're not implying that the two anomalies are connected…"

Between Hatter's headache, which had become so severe that he felt like someone had repeatedly bashed his head into a concrete wall, and everyone's cynicism, he was ready to rip out his hair in frustration. "Yes!"

Jack paused to take it all in, leaning back in his throne. "I won't deny that the possibility exists," he conceded, "but it will take a lot more than your word to convince me." When he saw that Hatter was about to argue the point, he held up his hand. "However, I _do_ find this odd storm – for lack of a better term – deeply troubling. Finding the answer to that riddle is my top priority at present."

Now it was Hatter's turn to mull over Jack's words. "If we help you…"

"If you help us and you're right, you've solved both our problems," the King said. "And if you're wrong…I promise to take a serious look at the allegations you have presented today."

He glanced at Alice. She shrugged noncommittally. It was up to him. "You're on."

"Good." The King rose and descended from on high, dropping what amounted to Duchess' leash, and put his arm around Hatter as he led him in the direction of the door. "I've been speaking to Ambrose, and…"

Charlie's face lit up. "Your highness is acquainted with Ambrose?"

Jack looked over his shoulder. "He's one of my top men in the field." He almost left it at that, but after a short pause, he continued. "Ambrose has nothing but good things to say about you, Charlie…after we sort all this out, you and I must have a chat about your officially joining my forces."

"It would be…an honor…" Charlie said with hushed reverence.

The King gave him a nod, then returned his attention to Hatter. "Now, Ambrose believes the source of the ash is the Great Library…"

Hatter stepped away from Jack, cocking his head. "Does he?"

"Yes…it's imperative that you tell me its location at once."

The last piece of the puzzle clicked into place…he grew very still as the epiphany sank in. The ubiquitous pounding in his head disappeared completely. He looked from Jack to Alice, Alice to Charlie, Charlie to Duchess, Duchess to 10…then back to Jack. He got it. After spending all this time running in circles, re-living moments…he finally understood. And he was a little irritated with himself that it had taken him so long to figure it out. The realization made him laugh…softly at first, but within seconds it grew to an unsettling, maniacal cackle.

"What's wrong with him?" Not Jack asked, his expression worried.

"I don't know…" Not Alice replied, taking a step towards him. "Hatter, honey…" she fought to keep her tone even, but distress was written all over her face.

Hatter's laughter broke, and he became deadly serious. "Charlie, where did Alice hide the ring?"

Not White Knight looked genuinely confused. "Come again?"

Even with the obvious staring him in the face, Hatter's loyalty to the real Charlie forced him to spell it out. "The Ring of Wonderland…when Alice came here last time….where did she hide it?"

"How should I know?"

Nodding slowly, Hatter turned to Not Alice. "Why did I help you…way back in the beginning, why did I decide to help you?"

She didn't hesitate. "Because you wanted to get your hands on the ring…but that was before you got to know me…"

He grinned from ear to ear as he started to dance around the room. "Twin-kle, twin-kle, lit-tle bat…how I won-der what you're at…" He made sure to enunciate each and every syllable of the chant…his words echoed back to him crisp and clear and slightly menacing.

"What on Earth…?"

"Hatter…?"

"What is he doing…?"

"What's he saying…?"

He stopped dancing, but didn't bother to respond to their queries. Instead, Hatter shut out their voices and closed his eyes. He could feel them closing in around him as he knelt on the ground. "Why is a raven like a writing desk? The clockwork's not ticking properly. There may be crumbs in the butter. Why is a raven like a writing desk? The clockwork's not ticking properly. There may be crumbs in the butter. Why is a raven like a writing desk…"

And the world melted away.


	5. Chapter 5

Thus Beaten Out of Season - Part 5

Hatter didn't know how long he spent in blissful oblivion…but as his senses slowly returned, his first impression was that he was no longer in danger. So far, there wasn't any hard evidence to back that notion up, but his gut instincts told him the worst was over. He heard a voice – far away, but distinct through the thick fog in his mind…a woman talking in hushed tones. It must be Alice. He also heard the deeper rumblings of a man speaking quietly, but quickly. Unable to discern what either was saying, he tried to call out to them, but was unable to make a sound.

Patience was key. Whatever was happening – had happened – it was traumatic. Torture always was. Sometimes it took a while to escape the residual effects… an efficient torturer could cause psychological damage that persisted long after the actual torment had ceased. It was the mark of an artist. Or, _artists_, as he suspected this particular inquisitor had been. A pair of deranged doctors trying to locate the most precious of assets. But he didn't know. Not for sure. Not yet.

Patience.

He continued to crawl towards consciousness, little by little, piece by piece. He soon became aware of his physical body, carefully laid out on something with big, soft cushions…most likely a couch. The air was warm, the smells familiar. It was his apartment. He could finally make out the woman's words, "I think he's waking up…"

Right before he opened his eyes, he realized that the man's voice was his own, still mumbling the string of gobbledygook he had been trained to utter in the event of prolonged exposure to hostile questioning.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk? The clockwork's not ticking properly. There may be crumbs in the butter…" He stopped himself there, at the last of the phrases. He was safe.

But his eyelids fluttered open to an unwelcome sight – Duchess was leaning over him, lines of anxiety etched into her otherwise attractive features.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he moaned, shutting his eyes against the mirage. It couldn't be…he had escaped…he was home at last. Regardless of the belief that he was finally out of harm's way, he couldn't deny what he had seen. Especially in light of the fact that this belief was unsubstantiated. He took a deep breath, refusing to lose his cool. With no other alternative presenting itself, he went back to the code once again. "Why is a raven like a writing desk? The clockwork's not ticking properly. There may be crumbs in the butter…"

Duchess, on the other hand, was rife with panic. "Alice…? Alice, come quick!"

Hatter ended his mantra and cautiously opened an eye. "Alice?"

"She's in the other room," Duchess alleged, jumping up and pointing deeper into the apartment before kneeling beside him again. "Please, please, don't go back to sleep, we've been so worried…"

He _did_ hear a faucet running in the distance. "Don't touch me," he warned as she reached towards him.

"Okay, okay," she said, putting her hands in the air, as if he was holding her up with a gun. "Sorry." She scooted herself back a little, giving him room. "Just don't close your eyes."

Down the hall, a door opened. "What's all the commotion?" the approaching voice asked. "Can't a girl get a little privacy without…" She trailed off when she saw Hatter looking up at her, but still finished the sentence, her mouth unable to keep up with what her eyes perceived, "…all hell breaking loose?"

He greeted her like it was any other day. "Hi."

Alice stared at him, transfixed. "I had to pee." It was a ridiculous statement to make, under the circumstances, but it was the first thing that popped into her head – an explanation for her temporary absence.

"When you gotta go, you gotta go," he replied good-humoredly.

She practically dove into his arms. "Hatter! You're awake!"

A groan escaped his lips when the length of her landed on him. "Ugh…uh huh."

"Oh my God, I'm sorry." She rolled off him onto the floor and swung her legs beneath herself, so her butt would rest on her feet. "I'm…I mean…I was…" she shook her head as she took his hand. "My brain isn't working properly."

"I know the feeling."

Duchess, meanwhile, had discreetly put some distance between herself and the reunited couple in an attempt to give them some time alone. She hated to interrupt them, but she also didn't want them wondering where she snuck off to. "I'll just…call Jack."

Alice started at the other woman's voice; she had forgotten all about her. "Oh…yeah. That's a good idea. Get him back over here." She almost left it at that…but she caught herself before she returned her attention to her boyfriend. "Thanks, Duchess. I left the phone in the kitchen."

"Anything I can do," Duchess replied quickly, before exiting the room.

Alice leaned close to Hatter, keeping her voice low even though they were alone. "I was so scared…I didn't know what to do…I thought…"

He put a finger to her lips. "Before you go on…I need to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"When you first came to the Tea House…dripping and confused, traded for a mouthful of excitement…why did I help you?"

She understood immediately. It was a test. "I offered you money…but you wouldn't take it. You had no use for little pieces of paper."

"And?"

"And you claimed that you didn't have a reason…no, you didn't _need_ a reason to help a girl in a very wet dress."

"A pretty girl," he reminded her, lifting his head to kiss her.

Their lips met briefly. "I looked like a drowned rat."

"A _pretty_ drowned rat." He rested his head back on the pillow behind it, exhausted from his recent experience. "God, I missed you."

She laughed, running her fingers through his ever-tousled hair. "I think you just wanted to get into my knickers."

He laughed. "The thought hadn't crossed my mind…" She raised an eyebrow. "It hadn't. Not yet…"

"I knew it!"

"Well I think you're trying to cover up the instant attraction you felt upon first setting eyes on my rugged persona."

He was a little taken aback when he detected a hint of pink in her cheeks. "Oh, please…"

"Wait a second…I hid a nerve, didn't I?"

"No!" she protested, a little too quickly. "I mean…yeah, you were kinda cute and you had a cool accent…but I had a boyfriend, and…"

"Jack's on his way," Duchess called from the kitchen, saving Alice from further embarrassment.

Although he appreciated the initial privacy she had given them, Hatter saw no reason for Duchess to stay hidden away in the corner…especially since she had obviously played some kind of role in his care giving. As such, he thought it was only fair that she be included from here on in. "Why don't you join us, then?"

"I didn't actually talk to him," she continued, entering the living room. "But the guy I spoke to promised to give him the message straight away."

"How long?" Alice asked, still at Hatter's side.

"Your guess is as good as mine…5 minutes, an hour." She shifted her attention to Hatter. "You know Wonderland and time…"

Yes he did. "As long as he gets the message, it doesn't really matter." He turned back to Alice. "Incidentally…you mind cluing me in on what's happened since I…passed out?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He shook his head. "No…see…I remember everything that's happened to _me_. Because I've been…" he searched for the right word, but couldn't find it. He'd have to settle for another. "…dreaming this whole time." He didn't like using the word "dream" to describe his experience, but it was the closest thing to the truth he could come up with. "I don't know where reality ended and fantasy began."

"So you remember all your nightmares…and Wonderland leaking into this world?" He nodded. "You had just said goodbye…you were about to walk out the door…I told you that I loved you, and you said, 'I know.' Then you fell to the floor and started convulsing."

He replayed the events in his head, drawing a mental barrier between pausing in the doorway and actually setting foot out the door. "I see…"

"I've taken basic first aid classes, so I assumed you were having some kind of seizure. I grabbed a pillow and placed it under your head…but there wasn't much else I could do except talk you through it."

"How long did it last?"

"A minute…two? It felt like forever..."

"And then?"

"When you settled down, I used your phone to reach one of your contacts from Wonderland."

This was the part he was primarily curious about – how Jack and Duchess fit in the mix. "Why didn't you dial 911?"

Alice glanced at Duchess, but the other woman could be of no help. "I…I don't know…I mean…before you collapsed, you were so agitated…you were convinced that Wonderland was seeping into this world…I thought…"

Hatter reached up and stroked her cheek to calm her. "I'm not angry. I only want to understand."

"You were breathing fine…your pulse went back to normal…"

"Alice…"

"You could have died!" she exclaimed, close to tears.

"But I didn't." She had lowered her eyes, but he gently lifted her chin so they would be forced to meet his once again. "Alice. Stop. You did fine. Everything's fine." She nodded, brushing away a stray drop of salt water that had overflowed from its shaky dam. "In fact…all things considered, I think you did the right thing."

"Why?" Duchess jumped in.

"I'll explain when the King arrives," he replied before returning his attention to Alice. "Go on."

She took a deep breath…his assertion that she made the correct choice had soothed her frayed nerves a bit. "Your contact promised to go through the Looking Glass and report everything I told him to Jack…and he must've been as good as his word, because it was less than 10 minutes before he and Duchess were knocking on the door."

"Wonderland time," Duchess clarified, more for Alice than Hatter. "It would have been 5 if it wasn't for the walk here…and fact that he made me change…"

For the first time, Hatter noticed her outfit. She wore form-fitting jeans over black heeled boots…and in true Duchess form, she boasted a tight, red, short sleeved t-shirt that ended mere centimeters from the curve of her breasts, giving everyone a nice clear view of her flat abs. Although, to her credit, she also had an unbuttoned flannel shirt on over it, making the outfit a bit more modest. Of course, after a moment's thought, he realized that Alice must have forced it on her when she arrived.

Alice had changed as well. No longer sporting her comfortable pajamas, she also wore jeans, but she paired hers with a burgundy sweater, wide-necked and form fitting around the bust, but loose from there on until it ended mid-thigh. Her feet were bare.

"Why did he bring you?" he asked Duchess.

"He didn't want to leave me alone…he wouldn't say why."

Hatter nodded. "Smart move."

"I don't think he wanted either of us alone," Alice admitted.

"There's safety in numbers," he agreed. "What happened next?"

"Nothing. He left."

It finally occurred to him to ask the basest of questions. "How long was I out?"

"Several hours," Alice replied.

"You two must have…" he paused to consider his words carefully…he was tempted to tease them, but considering their history, he wasn't sure it was the wisest move. He was feeling pretty good, though. "…had quite a chat."

Duchess spoke first. "Actually, we did." She ventured a shy smile at Alice, but the sound of his buzzer prevented either from elaborating. Duchess went to answer the door, while Hatter gestured for Alice to help him up.

A wave of dizziness struck him when he reached an upright position. "Oh boy. This is gonna take some getting used to."

"Do you want to lie back down?"

"No…not as long as Jack's here."

She shook her head disapprovingly at his posturing, but couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Men and their never-ending battle to always appear to be a pillar of strength."

"You doubt my…" he tried to think of something clever to say, but failed. "…pillar-ishness?"

They heard the door open and whispers exchanged. "Never." She brushed the hair off his forehead and kissed it. "Shall I put on some tea?"

"That would be lovely."

Jack entered the room as Alice headed for the kitchen. "I'm about to boil some water…care for tea, Jack?"

"Yes, please."

"Duchess?"

"Sure…I'll give you a hand."

"That's all right…I'll only be a sec. I wanna hear this."

Hatter moved to stand as Jack approached, but the other man waved him back down. "That's not necessary." He sat in an easy chair across from the couch, resting his elbows right above his knees as he laced his fingers together, leaning forward. "How are you feeling?"

It was only then that Hatter realized that he most look terrible – for the first time he became aware of the fact that his tie had been loosened and his shirt partially unbuttoned…presumably to make sure he was breathing comfortably during his mini-coma. He was slightly amused by the fact that the end result was just the way he would have arranged the articles of clothing himself, given the chance. Speaking of which…where did his hat go…?

"Hatter."

"Still a bit dazed." He could only imagine how his hair must look…

"Understandable." Hatter waited for him to continue, but he didn't. In the meantime, Alice had returned, but hung back, not wanting to get in the way of the stilted male bonding taking place the other side of the room.

"What have you been up to?"

Jack didn't miss a beat. "Looking for whoever was…attacking you."

"Suspicions?"

"I have a few, but I'd rather hear from you before I share any of them." He paused. "What were they looking for?"

"The location of the Great Library."

"Did they get it?"

Hatter was mildly insulted. "Of course not."

"Right. How silly of me to even ask. Now tell me everything."

Hatter began his comprehensive narrative with the intermittent nightmares that had started shortly after he arrived in the Oyster's world…brought him to the events of last night…and went on to detail his imaginary journey into Not Wonderland, though he played down Duchess' attempted seduction out of respect for all those present. The minutiae involved in _that_ part of the story didn't really matter. It was enough that he mentioned she came on to him.

Somewhere in the middle of his tale, Alice and Duchess emerged just long enough to serve them tea, before blending back into the background. Sipping the warm liquid, feeling it drip down his throat, made Hatter feel a little more like his old self. And the plate of sugar cookies placed discreetly on the coffee table – Alice must've been hiding them away somewhere, because the last time he checked, there weren't any cookies in his apartment – went a long way.

When he was done, Jack sat back, thoughtful. "Interesting tactics…"

"A new twist on an old theme, that's all." Hatter shrugged, unimpressed.

"Yet it took you a while to figure it out."

"I didn't say it wasn't a _good_ twist…it was brilliant. But the idea itself lacked a certain…je ne se quoi."

"I'm not getting it," Alice admitted from the side of the room. "What happened? What are you guys talking about?"

Jack turned to her. "Torture, Alice. Pure and simple."

"More like…a kind of intense creative interrogation," Hatter countered.

"…that caused you to physically collapse and sent you spiraling into a state of mental anguish. In my book that's torture," Jack argued.

Hatter didn't want to bicker like a couple of five year olds, and he didn't want to worry Alice any more than she already was. So he changed the subject. "The Tweedles?"

"Quite possibly under the direction of my mother," the King agreed. "When Alice explained what you've been going through, I sent out as many agents as I could to look for them, as well as my mother…but they all came back empty handed."

"Wait a second…I thought you had to be in that weird room for them to mess with your head," Alice interjected.

"There are a lot of things about Wonderland you don't understand," Jack replied.

"There are a lot of things about Wonderland that _I_ don't understand," Hatter jumped in, displeased with what he interpreted as a dig at his girlfriend.

"What I mean is…there's an almost…mystical aspect to the way Wonderland works," he began. "For example, the Looking Glass is equal parts science and sorcery…can you name any technological feat in this world that requires a piece of sacred jewelry to function?"

"Your point?" Hatter asked wearily.

"Who's to say what new contraptions the doctors have dreamed up since we last saw them?"

"Do you think they're here?" Alice asked.

"It's possible…I checked the Looking Glass security tapes and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary…but bribery and a looped tape could easily account for that."

Fatigue suddenly swept over Hatter. "If you're done with me, I think I need to lie down."

"Of course." Jack stood. "In the meantime, I'll continue the search, in our world as well as this one. The doctors Dee and Dum will be found."

"For the sake of my sanity, I hope so."

Jack held out his hand, and Hatter managed to rise to his feet. "I'll ask a few of my men to hang around the area the next few days…just in case." He shook the other man's hand firmly as he made his promise. "I'd also like daily reports from you…at least for the time being, if you don't mind."

It would be a pain in the ass, but Hatter understood. "Let me know who to send them to, and I'll do that."

Jack wrote the information down on the piece of paper Alice handed him, then left in on the coffee table. Hatter struggled to remain standing while Alice fetched Duchess' tight, black leather jacket. Relief washed over the blonde's face as she removed the unflattering flannel and slipped back into her own form-fitting attire.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," she called over to him.

"Thanks for keeping Alice company," he responded.

Alice escorted them to the door with a polite urgency, thanking them for their assistance and exchanging warm farewells…promising to keep in touch even if nothing else happened. It was only when the locks clicked back in place that Hatter permitted himself to sink onto the couch.

"Oh no you don't," she said, hurrying over before he could pass out. "We're gonna get you to bed."

He allowed her to sneak under his arm, and leaned heavily upon her during the seemingly endless voyage down the hall. But they managed to get him to his bed without incident, at which point he let her strip him down to his boxers before he collapsed back into the familiar comfort of his sheets. As she drew the covers over him, tucking him in, he was overwhelmed by a sense of security. He really was home. Safe. Sound.

Finally.


	6. Chapter 6

Epilogue

When Hatter awoke, it was already dark. Alice was lying next to him, her eyes glistening in the moonlight that shone through open curtains.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How ya feeling?"

He yawned. "Much better."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How did you figure it out?"

"How did I figure what out?"

She propped her head up with her hand. "How did you figure out it wasn't real?"

"I already told you…nothing was quite right…"

"But something must've tipped you off…one little detail that ruined the whole scheme…"

He sighed. He was tired of these games. "What's my name?"

She looked surprised. "What?"

"My real name…I told you once. What is it?" He waited no longer than a moment. "Exactly." Rolling on his back, he addressed the ceiling. "Dr. Dee or Dr. Dum…the woman formerly known as the Queen of Hearts…whoever it is that's tinkering around in my head, I've caught on to your charade…so you better find a new bag of tricks…"

"Hatter."

He opened his eyes. It was night. The curtains were closed, but the light on Alice's side of the bed was on, and the lady herself was leaning over him. "Yeah?"

"You were talking in your sleep."

"Huh."

She lowered herself so she lay next to him, placing her right leg over his as she stroked his bare arm. "Oh no…not again…"

"I think I put an end to it for good…I caught it real early this time."

"Awwww…honey…"

"What's my name? My real one?"

It was her turn to sigh. "I suppose I better start getting used to this…"

"It's the only way I can think of…the only way I can be sure."

She leaned over and whispered in his ear…he smiled. "Thank you." He kissed her. "It's just a precaution…now that I know what it _feels_ like, it's much easier to spot. I wouldn't put it past them to try a couple more times, but the worst should be behind us."

"Was the other me _really_ that bad?" she wondered aloud, changing the direction of the conversation slightly.

"No…" he replied honestly. "She was ok…a bit bratty, a touch spoiled… kinda annoying, but not so bad. The problem was that she wasn't _you_."

"What finally tipped you off?"

Hatter was 99% sure he was awake, talking to the real Alice…but that wasn't quite enough for him. So he decided to give her a hint. "Jack asked me to tell him where the Great Library was."

It didn't take her long. "And as a member of the Resistance, he should've known that."

"Oh yeah…good thing his mother and her court were unaware of the extent of his rebelliousness…"

"The Great Library," she said, thinking aloud. "With great power comes great responsibility."

"I can't believe you're quoting 'Spider-Man' in the middle of our deep, intellectual discussion…"

She slugged him. "Shut up." She rolled over to turn off the light, then curled up beside him.

"I love you," he said softly holding her close.

"I know," she whispered, letting the words hang over them for a minute before adding, "I love you too."


End file.
